words not told to anyone except yourself and God...words that are hard to share will always be in our heart and slowly we suffer it alone...it's too hard to be alone...as now i am alone at home...living by myself with my parents...they just don't get it...they always don't...i have to suffer this for 3 more years..HOW CAN I SURVIVE THIS???it's just to difficult...where's everyone!!! since jerry is gone, my mum just target on me...it's so annoying...i can't do anything that actually please her...she may do some stuff that i want , well that is a good thing right?? but what i want is her to understand me...well not only that she just can't stop nagging..well that is what parents suppose to do but HELLO give me a break, man!!! u expect me to stay with my books 24/7 meh?? everything i do is just wrong to her except studying..obviously!!! i am in form 3...i don't mind her her lecturing me but don't u think that i wouldn't go siaw if she continue doing that!!! I just can't stand it...every minute if she see me not studying she start saying me again...Hello!!! just right after i ate just now and I lie down for a while and unfortunately she came into my room and start lecturing me again that i don't study and all...that point... she may be right sometimes but not all the time...now is only 4.03 and i think she nag me for about 3 times i think or 4 maybe 5 haha don't bother counting cause it's gonna be a lot..this year is goning to be a really hard year for me to cope...no one backing me up when i am in trouble..no one to talk too...man,i need someone here to be with me at home...anyone!!! shermaine, bee, jerry, any of them!!! or even i can go study with them... like that will ever happen!!! well at least I have God by my side right but still...u know what i mean...i guess my wish for this year is to be have anyone back home or i study with them at overseas!!Let God answer my prayer...suffering alone is the hardest thing u can ever do...letting it out is the best thing...